Jail and Tinder

Jail and Tinder

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Noooo, I didn’t just get in trouble and have to spend some time in jail. If you didn’t see my post from a few weeks ago, I have recently been hired to work as a therapist at the jail. I wrote in that post “that everyone deserves to be listened to” and I want this to be true. Yet, I’m finding this is easier said than done. =( I found it hard my first couple of shifts when I heard the charges of the inmates: mom charged for sexually molesting her son; man charged for taking naked pictures of underage girls and now wants to blame it on his mental illness that he is faking to have.

My supervisor said she does not ask the inmates about their charges so she does not become jaded. I am going to start doing the same. I do believe there is a reason for ever action and everyone does have the ability to change. My plan is help each inmate through their crisis (for a lot of them, it  is their upcoming court and the unknown of their sentence or just getting their sentence). I will start focusing on worst case scenario and how they can face 5, 10, 20+ years in prison.

Good news about my  supervisor. I heard her say on the phone while she was talking to one of her kids: “Am I gonna have to punch you in the face?” If you don’t know why that was good to hear, I said that exact thing in a text that I thought was going to a friend but it ended up going to my old boss which got me fired. Here’s the post on that if you haven’t read it yet:Things falling apart…

Tinder

I finally got on Tinder for the first time but no dates yet…there aren’t too many options in the town I live in for guys my age so I think I’ll have to wait till I get back to the city to go on a date (yes, I’m pretty sure I’m headed back to the city, I’ll write about that in my next post). Here is the first conversation I had with a guy on Tinder:

Me: “Hey…I’m finally trying Tinder for first time…how was your day?”

Him: “How are you”

Me: “I’m good…started a new job so change is always good…what’s been the highlight of your year so far?”

Him: “Nothing yet, you like dominant men?”

That’s it…he didn’t waste any time.  No, I’m not surprised. A friend recently posted on Facebook how she had a guy ask her right away if she wanted to watch Netflix and chill. She asked her friends how she could respond in the future and here are some of the funny responses she got:

“You’re so quick to ask. I hope you last longer in bed.”

And

“Perfect! I want kids too!”

And

“I’d really like that. May I see a pic of what you’re working with?”

Him: [sends pic]

You: “Does it get bigger? Or is that it?”

Aren’t those hilarious =)

Worst Date EVER

Worst Date EVER

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Since I last wrote about Drummer, I went to go see his band play and another night we went bowling. Over the weekend we drank some beer. And here’s what happened:

Me: “So ya gotta tell me, why don’t you like to talk about your kids??”

Him: “This isn’t the time.”

Me: “It’s the perfect time. We’re drinking beers.”

Him: “All right, let’s go for a walk. (We walk). So this is bad, it’s real bad. You know how gay people say they don’t choose to be gay. Well, it’s the same for me. When my kids (he has a daughter and son) were young, I touched them so I’m a sexual offender.”

Me: “Have you acted on your urges recently?”

Him: “No, the last time was about 15 years ago.”

Me: “Were there other kids?”

Him: “Yeah, a few others.” (I wonder how many are a few?!?!) “And it sucks because I want to put this behind me but I can’t cause it always comes up.”

Me: “Yeah, because there is knowing a difference between right and wrong and you did not consider that.  I just had to basically beg you to tell me. You need to tell a woman this after a few dates. She has the right to know.”

Him: “But I want someone to know me as me now. I didn’t have sex with them. ”

Me: “So you touched them and jerked off?”

Him: “Yeah.”

Me:  “I believe you that you are the way you are because it’s how you are born. But I can’t date you. I’ll be your friend.”

Him: “Every 3 years I have to do the stuff so I’m on the sexual registry list and in some ways I know I was lucky. If I had done this today, I would have had 15 years to life in prison and I didn’t have to go to prison. But what about the guy who beats up his wife over and over again? Isn’t that just as bad as what I did?”

Me: “Your right, it is.”

We then started talking about his kids…I went into therapist action. We went back in and I drank some more beer and he then said he “felt weird” and left. A few of my friends asked me where he was and I said: “He said he drank enough beer and wanted to go.”

I feel like I was kind to him and that I am proud of…And now I don’t want to date the rest of the year….lol…I really am fine being single.

 

 

The Joys of Dating

The Joys of Dating

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So, after being in this town since May of 2015, I’ve finally decided to get serious about dating (well, also one of my coworkers keeps asking me if I’ve created a profile so I can finally say yes and she can leave me alone now…lol).

I created a profile on Plenty of Fish yesterday. This town is less than 100,000. And what did I notice today? One of my former patients also has a profile…oh, joy. It really actually creeps me out and part of me wants to delete my profile right away…I don’t think POF gives users the ability to block others because I would do that if that was an option. I guess I’ll keep it up for now and see what happens.

I’ve sent some emails out asking how their day was or weekend and I’ve gotten many one liners back like: “Was good…just taking it easy. How bout you?”  “Weekend was decent. How was yours?” and “Doing good. How about you?” That’s it?!?! That’s all I get?? Maybe I’m expecting too much…but just a few more sentences would be nice…Am I expecting too much???

One of the guys does get extra bonus points for being creative because when it asks about the first date in the profile, he said “fight off evil ninja monkeys.” =)

LOVE YOURSELF

LOVE YOURSELF

My favorite message about Valentine’s Day comes from my favorite blogger Jenny Lawson. Since she’s the queen of blogging, you all probably know about her, but just in case someone doesn’t know her, go check her out at: http://thebloggess.com/

“Today is Valentine’s Day and that means you either spend all day wondering if your significant other is going to get you something, or you spend the day poisoning the roses that all the other girls in your office got. This is ridiculous because Valentine’s Day is pretty much just made up to sell shit…realize that this is a ridiculous non-holiday made to make everyone feel insecure about their relationships or lack thereof and instead use this day to do something lovely and sweet for yourself. For Valentine’s Day this year I’m giving myself the gift of watching foreign horror movies for the next four hours. Victor’s giving himself the gift of yelling at me to turn down the TV because there’s too much screaming leaking into his conference call. EVERYONE WINS. Your turn. Forgive yourself for something. Treat yourself. Remind yourself of something nice you like about yourself. Buy yourself a drink and let you take yourself home for a nice bubble bath and a wheel of cheese. Make home-made fondu and dip everything in the house in it. Dress your cats up and pretend they’re throwing a surprise party for you. Whatever. Just do something nice for you. Because you’re worth it. Trust me on this one.”

 

 

I guess I’ll try this Tinder thing everyone is talking about

I guess I’ll try this Tinder thing everyone is talking about

I’ve been in no hurry to start dating again because I DO trust life…more so now than in any other time in my life. In my late 20s/early 30s, there were a few times I felt so hopeless because all my friends were getting married. I thought being single was the worst thing that could happen to a gal. One time, I drove from Denver to Salina, Kansas (about 6 hours) to meet a guy for a first date and when he let me know he wasn’t attracted to me, I can vividly remember calling my friends Scarlett and Cale sobbing because I thought my life was over because I was so tired of dating.

Now, I enjoy my life SO MUCH that honestly, I am in no hurry to date. I know I have mentioned before that my coworkers are awesome. We are always doing something (on Christmas I worked and after work, we had a party where we drank and played Cards Against Humanity-It was my first time and I won! What a FUN game!! This weekend there is another get together).   A few of my coworkers though are urging me to start dating again. I first said: “OK, OK, I’ll start dating again once the new year starts.” Then, a few weeks ago I said: “I’ll start after Valentines day.” Coworkers: “YOU SAID YOU WOULD start in the new year.” Me: “I know, I know, I’ve been thinking about it and I just want to wait till after V-Day.”

So that’s my plan….I haven’t been on Tinder yet so I want to see what Tinder is all about. Yet, I’ll need to buy a new phone because my current phone has very low data storage.  But now I’ll have to wait on the new phone because I just got rear ended while driving in Santa Fe. My car isn’t driveable and so I need to go car shopping. My plan is to try Tinder some time in 2016…hahaha =)

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Phone numbers were exchanged!

Phone numbers were exchanged!

Met a guy earlier in the week at the bar and it’s been a LONG time since I’ve felt such a GOOD VIBE from someone and then had the GUTS to give him my number.

He sat down next to me at the bar. I was immediately attracted to him. Long blond pony tail. Nice body. I waited about 10 minutes to talk to him…didn’t want to seem to eager. I heard him talking about Red Rocks so I asked: “Did you just go to a concert at Red Rocks?” Him: “Yesss” (with a grin). So then we started talking about all the bands we’ve seen at Red Rocks and also bands we saw at other venues in the Denver area. Pearl Jam, Lenny Kravitz, Phish…many others…He’s seeing Ben Harper in September which would be a great show to see.

We talked about the difference between city life and small town life and all the pluses of a small town. He asked many questions….One of the first was what I do and I like to say “social work” first and when asked what field or population, than I say therapy…So when he asked for specifics and I told him, he said “That’s what my mom did” and smiled. He mentioned his brother many times and at one point, I felt he was trying to set me up with his brother.

So I then asked: “Do you have a girlfriend?”

Him: “No.”

Me: “Boyfriend?”

Him: “No” and smiled again.

Me:”Good, just want to make sure I’m not overstepping any boundaries.”

We talked about places close by and I asked if he had any pictures on his phone he wanted to share, so we spent some time looking through his pics. This really is a pretty part of the country.

Our night ended by him asking if I like to camp.

Him: “My friends and I have some camping trips planned this summer so maybe you can join us.”

Me: “I WOULD love to.”

1st Date in my New Town This Weekend

1st Date in my New Town This Weekend

I received an email from a guy the other day through a dating site and he wrote:

“I just got back from Nicaragua and have been looking for a good recipe for sopa de albondigas. Any suggestions? It looks like I am a bit young for what you are looking for, and understandably so. However, if you are in need of a friend I am a good hiking/adventuring buddy.”

I mention in my profile the soup so that is why he asked about it. He’s 32…In my profile, I write that I’m looking for someone who is at least 36 for a couple of reasons.

1) I don’t have to feel self conscious about the wrinkles that are starting to form on my face when someone is older 2) I think age brings wisdom

Yet, with that said, I am definitely open to meeting up with a guy in his early 30s. Or maybe even younger…a few posts ago I wrote how weird I felt talking to a 26 year old and my sister’s response was: “don’t depict on age or anything else for that matter…just be free with whatever comes your way…you will find true happiness that way.” So, I guess, I’ll be open to any age. =)

Anyways, I message him back and he then writes: “One particular highlight was looking at the stars in a mountain valley north of Matagalpa. The only other place I’ve seen as many stars in the sky is from above treeline in Colorado. In Nica, however, the whole valley was filled with fireflies. It was like the night sky was wrapped around you with all the flashing little bugs.”

He’s a good writer…isn’t he?!?

Anyways, there’s going to be free music this weekend so we are going to meet up…The music is actually some well known musicians so I’m really looking forward to it!