I have had a pit in my stomach the past week because I realize I’m not going to get enough hours at the jail. I think I’m going to have to move back to the city. And so, I’ve been doing lots of self talk telling myself that I had no issues with living in the city when I lived there before. I actually LOVED the city. But see, I love the town I’m in now even more and that’s why part of me feels uneasy about moving. Yet, maybe this is the universe telling me that I’m not going to meet my soulmate in this town so I need to get back to the city where there will be more options. Plus, I’ll be close to family; have tons of options for live music, and the friends that I hold dear to my heart will be geographically close to me again.
So my plan is to take a LCSW study session class offered in August; take the test in September; and then start looking for jobs in an inpatient psych hospital after that….as we know, plans can change at any minute, but this is what my brain has been thinking about A LOT lately.
I just recently started following Elizabeth Gilbert on Facebook…I read Eat, Pray, Love as soon as it came out 10 years ago. Anyways, I had time to kill so I was looking through her past posts and this is from her March 29, 2016 post on Facebook that I think everyone needs to read:
My mother “was talking about how frustrating she finds it that — somewhere around the age of 50 or 60 — she watched as so many of her peers stopped making goals and long-term plans for adventure and exploration in their lives. Instead, they began shutting down, and making their lives smaller, and their minds smaller, too. She got so weary of listening to them making self-deprecating jokes about how old they were, and how much their bodies hurt, and how bad their hearing and eyesight was getting… She felt they had surrendered to age far, far, far too soon. My mom said, “Nothing is more frustrating to me than listening to people who are still vital saying, ‘Well, at our age, you have to be careful…'”
No. She begs to differ. As you get older, there is no more time to be careful, and no more REASON to be careful — at least as my mom sees it. Instead, this is time to seize as much life and joy and adventure and learning and novelty as you possibly can. As my mom said, “I hate seeing people slide themselves into the grave far before their time. Death will come when it comes — but it’s crazy to sit around waiting for it. If you’re not dead yet, you’re not done yet.”
My mom thinks that everyone should have a five-year plan for their lives, and also a ten-year plan, and a twenty-year plan — and that every few years you have to revisit your plans to see if your goals and aspirations have changed…and that you should never stop making these plans, even as you age. (Especially as you age!) She has shared with me the travel she wants to do in the next 20 years, and work she wants to finish, the projects she wants to begin, the cultures she wants to explore, the people she wants to enjoy, her fitness goals…
I have heard people speak of their lives as if they were finished at 30, done at 40, washed up at 50, too late to start over at 60, no more chances at 70…
But are you still here?
Then you aren’t done yet.
Don’t make your life smaller as the years pass. If it’s time to start over, then it’s time to start over. If you aren’t where you planned to be, then it’s time to make a new plan….Rise up, everyone, and keep rising. We are still here. There is much to be done and enjoyed.”